


He left the door open. Again.

by pissbees



Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: At least there's Taco Bell, Dear god I'm so very sorry, Intercrural Sex, M/M, Pee, Piss, Rimming, They Don't Talk About it, Vegeta is a housewife, Watersports, eating ass, established relationship kinda, spitting in mouths, they live together in a house that they built, this entire thing is a shitpost
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-28
Updated: 2020-11-28
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:48:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27754105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pissbees/pseuds/pissbees
Summary: I was sleep deprived when I wrote this. It's very all over the place. They eat, they have sex, there's pee :/
Relationships: Son Goku/Vegeta (Dragon Ball)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 19





	He left the door open. Again.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry I'm sorry

A rather quiet cacophony of sounds emanated from the shared living room; this time Kakarot had managed to get chip crumbs and other assorted food mess all over the carpet, under the sofa and even the coffee table. You know, the one he should have been eating off of in the first place. Vacuum in hand, crumbs, cereal, and anything else was drawn into the machine, never to be seen or fretted over again. Luckily for the both of them, this high powered vacuum cleaner could siphon any mess just as well as Goku could guzzle down any food. If it made it in his mouth. 

All was well and dandy, but somebody couldn't be heard over all the whirring. Well, he could, but Vegeta likes to pretend he couldn't see, hear, or remember that he had a housemate. 

Kakarot was at a loss, he obviously hadn't thought walking OVER to Vegeta was a viable option so he pulled the plug instead, leaving Vegeta's chore unfinished. The reaction was nearly instantaneous. 

“What the hell do you think you're doing?!”  
“Veg—” he was cut off immediately. “Do you really think that you can leave me with all the housework and expect it to be done when you keep bothering me??”  
“Well no, but I—” “Then plug it back in!” 

Instead of keeping his trap shut and bending over to grab the cable, Kakarot opted to attempt to finish his train of thought. “. . . 'Geta, I just wanted to know what was for dinner and if you wanted to p—” Vegeta'a eyes flew open, his forehead vein was extra visible today. “NO I DO NOT WANT TO PLAY MARIO KART RIGHT NOW! Or anything else either. I'm busy.” 

Before Goku really had the time to process everything that just happened, his partner had already started the vacuum up again and resumed his cleaning. Vegeta really is busy a lot of the time huh? 'He sure does do a lot for us, so I guess it makes sense' his thoughts continued for once. Standing there and looking like a fool by the outlet, Goku eventually came up with a foolproof plan. And it needed to be, he was the fool. Now, if this was going to work at all, he'd have to beat Vegeta. Now . . . what was fast? 

FAST FOOD! With a sudden burst of speed, the younger saiyan was out the front door, wallet in hand. Granted, he left the front door open but maybe that was just an epic gamer strat. Moving at scorching speeds, Goku was rather confident that he could make it back home before Vegeta even THOUGHT of making dinner. At this speed, Goku was breaking the sound barrier. Seriously, this guy is a hazard to any poor pilot's schedule. You can't and shouldn't just be moving that fucking fast. That wasn't a concern that ever crossed Goku's mind; all he knew is that the wind in his hair felt great and that him and Vegeta were about to have some good eats. 

Coming in for a landing! Orange boots touched land again after only a few short moments airborne. The Saiyan skipped across the parking lot and approached the Drive-Thru speaker. Bending over he tried to peer into the box, honestly thinking that there was someone inside . . . still. The employee inside debated telling the weirdly dressed man in the parking lot that fell from the sky that he needed a vehicle to order but . . . they don't get paid enough for that. 

“Hi, welcome to Taco Bell, how may I help you?” the speaker crackled out. 

“Yeah, hi,” ehehehe, “I'd like . . . 14 chicken quesadillas, 6 chicken chalupas, 10 crunchwrap supremes, a 12 taco box— all crunchy, 18 quesaritos, two large Baja Blasts, and two orders of cinnamon twists.” Goku finished with laughing awkwardly into the microphone. It was about 30 seconds before the cashier asked him to confirm that the order on the screen looked correct.  
“That'll be, $210.90. Please pull– I mean walk up to the first window.” Goku took his time strolling up to the window and finding his debit card. That's right! He got his own cool piece of plastic to put in the funny swipey machines. It even had his name on it! 

Soon enough it was his time to pay and retrieve his food. And, believe it or not, Goku managed to IT back home with his arms full of both bags of food and two large drinks. As it turned out, Goku DID beat Vegeta to dinner. But only because Vegeta left a nasty note saying that 'your behavior was unacceptable' and 'I don't know why I agreed to live with a toddler'. Oh well. Dinner time!

The man clad in orange set the bags on the dining room table one by one, a Baja blast by their respective chairs. Once the table was more or less set, Goku tiptoed off toward the bedroom. Eerie silence filled the house; this happened a lot when Vegeta was mad but didn't want to cause a scene. He's been trying to get better at communicating with Goku and addressing how he was feeling. Raising a loosely closed fist to the bedroom door, Goku knocked before turning the knob with his free hand. “ . . . Vegeta?” 

“I know you read what I left you, just leave me alone for the night. There's blankets on the couch.” His voice was muffled by a pillow but Goku heard him alright. “C'mon Vegeta . . .” Goku sighed, slumped over and softly stepping into Vegeta's space. “I'm sorry, I know I shoulda just let you keep cleanin', but I'm hungry. Let's go eat, 'kay?” 

“I already let you know I wasn't making you anything.” “That's okay Vegeta, I brought food home. Now let's get you out of bed!” Even though Vegeta growled and hissed, Goku wasn't even the slightest bit deterred— he carried on with his mission. Vegeta was picked up bridal style and about halfway through the trip to the dining room he finally gave up trying to kick and writhe his way out of his partner's arms. Food was a good enough apology, Vegeta decided. 

They sat and ate. Goku laughed and prattled on as he tends to do, and when all was said, done, and eaten, the himbo of a man even cleaned the table without being asked. The sour taste Goku had left in Vegeta's mouth was replaced with a warm and soft feeling in his stomach. That or he just wasn't as hungry anymore. One thing led to another and they were on the couch cuddled up in Goku's blankets. 

“Hey 'Geta? Could we do that thing where you um . . .”  
“Choose your next words carefully.”  
“Where you kiss me and it makes my thingy hard?”  
“Dear god.”  
“Please??”  
“. . .”  
“Please, Vegeta?”  
“You want to make out, correct?”  
“Yeah, that. I think.”  
“So you like my tongue in your mouth, is that it? You like that, Kakarot?” 

Vegeta was previously resting his head on Goku's chest, their legs intertwined but moved to look his rival in the eye. Black eyes darted quickly to the side to miss meeting with Vegeta's. Only when he starts to Actually Think about this sorta stuff, he gets embarrassed. “Well . . .” Kakarot hesitated with his sentence and he opted to swallow instead. If he focused enough, he could feel Vegeta's warm breath. The prince's hands were now on the arm of the couch behind his head. 

“Say you like it. And then maybe I'll consider locking lips with you.” Their noses were nearly touching at this point, Goku flush and perspiring enough so that his bangs stuck a little to his forehead. “I do, Vegeta. You know I do.” the younger of the two croaked, sounding a bit broken. His sentence was a bit pleading. 

Giving in, Vegeta's lips grazed those of Earth's savior, and Goku shifted to support Vegeta a little more. The prince's knees were at Goku's hips, pinning him to the sofa but also keeping the prince stable. It started off as a peck but Goku only whined. Vegeta was committed already, so he took his partner's face in his hands and gave him another. Longer this time, lips slightly parted. Vegeta didn't pull away after that one, pressing on instead. Putting his hands behind Goku's head for a brief moment, Vegeta managed to slip both of his gloves off. They ended up on the living room floor somewhere. When Vegeta's hands returned one ended up cupping Goku's cheek, the other in his hair. Vegeta was burning hot, his hands and lips warm to the touch. When they occasionally parted for air, Goku took the time to admire his partner. 

They connected again, this time Vegeta licked at his lower lip and Kakarot quickly parted his lips more for him. Tongues glided together and all of Goku's senses were filled with Vegeta. His Vegeta. Somewhere along the line, Goku had started shamelessly thrusting upward looking for a hint of friction and Vegeta had happened to be gracious enough to move his leg in-between Goku's. With every thrust, Goku whimpered a little louder. 

Separating again, but this time a strand of saliva connected them together. Goku is . . . a peculiar one. The hand on Goku's cheek shifted, Vegeta's thumb now tracing his glistening bottom lip. Thinking, plotting, Vegeta's thumb stalled and his partner used this opportunity to kiss the appendage. Responding, the digit slipped past the barrier and into the willing mouth. As Vegeta's thumb ran across his incisors and back across his molars he found himself growing warmer in the face and very, very hard. Painfully so. Leaning down, Vegeta pressed his lips to Kakarot's again, but he didn't stay too close for too long. Vegeta sat there, eyes on his partner with his lips parted just enough . . . The pool of saliva in his mouth began to spill from his lips and Kakarot was in too much of a lusty haze to move let alone think. Once again he could taste Vegeta, but his warmth was absent. 

Goku didn't quite understand the implications, but he thought it was hot. Vegeta was very clearly making him his bitch. 

Goku swallowed. “Wha wa ha or, 'Ge-a?” He said with the thumb still in his mouth. “What was it for? Oh, you didn't like that?” Vegeta scoffed.

“Has noh wha I aaid!” “Hmph.” Removing his thumb and curiously bringing it closer to his own face, Vegeta inquired, “So, what did you mean?” Hm, he put that soiled finger in his own mouth. Odd.  
“Vegeta!”  
“Tell me already.”  
“It was nice! . . . It was—” Goku brings a finger to his nose and averts his eyes once more. Laughing in place of a word that should be very easy to say but the dimwit refuses to ever sound vulgar. “Noted. Now, did you want me to get you off too? Because you only asked to kiss after all.” Kakarot immediately began to move almost as if he half decided and not answered the question. “Sounds like fun, 'Geta!” And before the elder saiyan could react he was scooped up and in Goku's arms— both of them bedroom bound. 

The next few minutes was a bit of a blur, Vegeta's boots were the first to go. Followed by Goku's boots, sash and gi top. With some assistance, the prince was able to get his armor off on record time along with his socks and the top half of his battle suit. Goku pulled both sets of socks off and really was asking to get his teeth kicked in when he /tried/ to tickle Vegeta's feet. That didn't exactly work out for him. Goku was pushed onto the bed, his chest landing near the middle. While Kakarot scurried up onto the mattress Vegeta took the opportunity to take his battle suit bottoms off, leaving him in just his boxers. He was a little worked up, sure, but he liked not to draw attention to himself but to Kakarot instead. 

Now situated on his back, Vegeta began to instruct his partner. “Okay, take it off and be swift.” “But you're watching me!” “That's never bothered you before!” Goku didn't reply and just started tugging his Gi pants down, obviously beyond embarrassed. Vegeta had managed to crack him just a little tonight. 

He'd never say it out loud but he'd pay good money to have Kakarot painted like this— splayed out on their bed, bare and throbbing, his face flushed and red. 

Vegeta approached his lover, Goku's face was now obstructed by his hands in an attempt to hide his shame. Warm, bare hands lighting grasped the younger saiyan's thighs, pushing his knees to his naked chest. They were ass to groin now and Goku was very exposed– Vegeta took this time of vulnerability to show Kakarot he was loved and appreciated. The prince's lips peppered Goku's worn hands, easing him into the situation. While his face was still burning scarlet, at least his hands had been retracted for the time being. Feeling Vegeta's dick pressed against him didn't really make matters any better but his partner was trustworthy. 

“Hold your legs up like this for me.” Vegeta spoke in a gentle tone that only Goku got to hear on occasion. Doing as he was instructed, Goku held his legs up by slipping his hands behind his knees. 

Vegeta moves away and confusion sets in. He watches as Vegeta kneels on the carpet but he doesn't drop his legs. And then there are warm hands on his thighs again. His inner thighs. He can feel Vegeta's breath against his skin; the head lingered. Goku couldn't see Vegeta's face much at this point, but he could feel his lips on his rear. Wait . . . “What'cha doin' that for?” “Shut up.” “O-okay.”

In a second Goku was spread open and Vegeta's tongue was flat against him. He felt so . . . exposed. And confused, but it was good. Wetness and warmth spread as Vegeta continued to lap and suck at the expanse from Goku's taint to his hole. Kakarot had now clue he could feel like this. He was buzzing with pleasure, leaking precum all over his abdomen. His ears were ringing and Vegeta's tongue was circling his rim. Every few seconds the prince would take a detour, pulling one of Goku's testicles into his mouth. Only then had they made eye contact . . . and it burned so wonderfully. 

Vegeta's tongue slowly entered him and Goku arched his back, his sight nearly becoming lost for a moment. Retracting, Vegeta started again, pressing slowly into the other saiyan. It was at this moment that Goku realized he really, REALLY had to take a leak. But … he didn't want this to stop. So he decided to hold it and face whatever Vegeta had in store for him head on. Every time his cock twitched, he feared the floodgates would open. This is the first time they've done anything like this and he didn't want to ruin it. 

Love bites and hickeys line Goku's inner thighs. When Vegeta took his small breaks from eating him out, he was marking his lover. But, instead of returning to assaulting Goku with his tongue after his brief intermission, he rose to look at his rival, noticing that Goku had more or less stilled. The look painted on his face was showing two completely different emotions. Torn between pleasure and panic. 

Now nestled between his lover's legs again, Vegeta cupped Goku's fear-stricken face with one hand and his aching cock with the other. “Have something to share, Kakarot?” 

“Vegeta . . . I— I really have to go.” He gave a crooked smile that slowly faded into a wince. Vegeta was stroking him and it felt great, don't get him wrong, but with every movement there was a higher chance he would piss himself. Vegeta was . . . laughing at him, still jerking him off. 

“Vegeta!”  
“Yes, Kakarot?” 

Squirming, Goku could feel his bladder start to give. 

“You heard me! I have to get up, I have to–”  
“I know.” 

Eyes glazed over, Vegeta had a plan now. No way Goku was escaping. 

Shit. Shit shit shit. With one eye scrunched shut, piss started to dribble out of Goku's cock. 'No!!’ Goku internally screamed; his teeth were sunk too far into his bottom lip to make any noise other than a whimper. Vegeta continued to stroke him, but only very slowly. Sometimes he'd hold his finger over the slit to stop the trickling stream coming from Goku. The younger saiyan was so ashamed he just might cry. But, he had to admit, it felt great. AND Vegeta didn't seem mad at him. 

Piss cascaded over Kakarot's hips and down onto the bedsheets, pooling near the cleft of his ass. Gods, he felt dirty. So many sensations all at once. Vegeta still had his dick pressed up against his entrance. Even through a layer of clothing it was burning hot. 

“I don't know if I'm going to finish or pee anymore!” Goku cried. Vegeta wasn't allowing him to finish and his erection wasn't allowing him to empty his bladder effectively. Not responding to a word the other saiyan had spoken, Vegeta began to compliment his partner. While he snaked his hand in his boxers to fish his arousal out, Vegeta took the time to admire Goku once more. 

“I think you're quite attractive, you know.” Kakarot's thighs were pressed together, Vegeta's cock sandwiched between them, pushing down on Goku's leaking erection and his bladder. “Handsome . . . Pretty even.” Vegeta continued and Goku moaned rather wantonly. It may have been from the sudden pressure applied to his stomach. 

Extremely pent up, Vegeta knew the both of them would finish rather quickly from here. Thrusting slowly to savor the moment, Vegeta slid between Goku's piss-slick thighs, grinding against his weeping member. Earth's savior felt like he lost the ability to use english years ago, all he could do is cry out in pleasure. Never would he have thought that the slight burn of stopping mid-stream, being forced to piss himself and not being able to empty himself all at once could feel so great. 

It's not like Vegeta had planned for this to happen, he just learned to roll with the punches when it came to dealing with the clown. 

Even with taking his time, Vegeta was past the point of no return, and with the constant friction, Goku was too. They came almost simultaneously; Goku with a cry, Vegeta with a grunt. Of course, that only made the mess a little worse . . . And goku was getting some serious overstimulation, still pissing himself after release. By no means was Vegeta incapable of continuing the fun, so he went back to fingering Goku's pretty little slit. 

Honestly, it's what he deserves messing with Vegeta's housework.


End file.
